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wanted to talk about this horrid - uh, hurried school semester nearing its end. But I'm saving that for next week, when my last project deadline has passed.
Felt like talking about someone. or at least, how i feel about the whole thing now.
We parted on friends-only terms. Barely friends, if you count his busy army schedule. We left school on terms that we could have gotten together. But, forgive my naive beliefs, underneath all that, I had known that we'd never be together - too different.
All the time wasted in exchanging glances, hesitant actions, and playing mind games. Shan't say the length of time. But lots of could-have-beens had gone by in that time.
Some of you might notice my erratic behaviour, perhaps bordering on the wild/shocking side as I don't seem to be of that type. Yes, I'm not. But I wanted to step out of that comfort zone, and be young for once, not being such a old prude stuck in a young body. Frankly, right now, I don't care what happens. I'll just go for any of the things that I want. There's no time for regrets. Someone said I should slow down and stop travelling at breakneck speed. For me, there's no time better than now. I should grab the opportunities that I was so hesitant to in the past. And this applies to jobs and life. Relationships, serious ones, aren't high on my list. I don't think it ever was..
Waiting for someone gave me the feeling of crappiness. Wtf should I wait for someone like that. hmm. sigh. I've cleared the board, and now it's a blank. I've got not many requirements, just chemistry and understanding.
On a side note: I think I might love my prdn job. It's tough, but it is what I've always dreamt of doing... TV/film etc. I just hope others who are very concerned see it my way. It's so frustrating to explain things when I'm short of time.
Time wasted, indeed.
/end post
Labels: the scribblings, the updates